I became an Independent Visitor during Covid. I kept seeing stories about children stuck in difficult situations because schools were closed and safeguarding wasn’t happening in the same way. It broke my heart.
I’m very lucky that my employers allow to me work flexibly, so I was able to take time off to volunteer regularly.
I googled roles in my area and found out about Independent Visitors. When I read it was mentoring a young person in care for a couple of hours a month with a two-year commitment, I thought that’s nothing. I can easily give that.
Why I love being an IV
What I love about it is that you don’t know anything about their past. You’re not given a file. Every other adult they meet knows their whole life story before they’ve even opened their mouth. With me, I only know what she’s told me.
There’s zero judgement. I volunteer. I’m not paid to do it. She’s said before that she feels differently about me and the role because of that.
I’ve been Carrie’s independent visitor for two and a half years. In the last six months things got quite difficult for her. She had changed foster carers a few times, and that’s when our relationship became really close.
The night before her birthday they placed her with a new random person. She woke up on her birthday with someone she didn’t know. It was a real tough time for her. Her social worker was away. I was the only person she genuinely had who she felt safe with.
We’ve bonded massively through that whole experience. She’s actually thriving now. She’s got a job. She’s quite a remarkable girl considering everything she’s been through.
An unexpected invitation
The invitation to a reception at Windsor Castle came about Carrie had actually asked if there was some sort of recognition they could put me forward for, which was really sweet. Coram Voice had been given some invitations to an event recognising volunteers and we were lucky enough to be asked to go.
I had no idea what it was going to be like. I had no idea I was going to meet the King and Queen, and the Prime Minister was there as well. I just walked past and thought, oh, there’s Keir Starmer. It was crazy.
There were between 200 and 300 people there. It was in this huge reception room where they hold state banquets. Shields on the ceiling, big red carpet, gold walls. It was stunning.
They didn’t announce the King and Queen. They just came in and started chatting to people.
I told Carrie if she wanted to meet them, I’d make it happen. She said she really did. So I worked out who the aides were and said, “Hi, this is Carrie. She’s in the care system. We’d really like to meet the Queen.” They said, “Absolutely, stand right there.”
We ended up speaking to King Charles III and Queen Camilla. They were really warm.
He asked what I do for her and she told him I take her out to do fun activities and that I’m her Independent Visitor. I was so proud of her. She spoke to him like a normal person.
For me, the highlight was when the Queen asked Carrie if she’d like a photo with her. I’d been watching for about 40 minutes and she hadn’t offered that to anyone else. That felt really special.
What I get out of being an Independent Visitor
What do I get from being an Independent Visitor? I’d have to say: joy. Every time I come back from seeing Carrie I just feel a bit happier inside that I’ve given my time to her and that she appreciates it.
When she writes in a birthday card that I’m the kind of mum she wants to be when she grows up, that stays with you.
We all waste so much time. You can doom scroll for an hour so easily. That’s an hour you could have spent with someone, helping them and showing up for them. It really isn’t a lot. It’s just giving your time. And that time shows a young person that someone cares about them.
I genuinely believe every single young person in care would benefit from having an independent visitor. If you’re considering volunteering, I would just say: do it!